Jessica My best friend since forever. Starting from the sixth grade; back when we were just twelve year old girls running around, chasing after the same stupid boy. Haha, it was just like yesterday. The drama; the flag; the dances. The berries ;) Assica; you always will be a part of my life because you are simply a compartment of everything in it. You’re just the person I know who’ll understand me, in any given circumstance because you knew Brittany Soriano before there was a Brittany Soriano, and you knew me before I even knew myself. We’ve been through everything, and there’s no doubt in my mind there’s nothing that life can throw at us or between us that will change that. It was so hard having to leave Pensacola in the first place, but having to leave a best friend behind may have been one of the single hardest things in my life. The letters you sent. I cried over every single one of them knowing I had let down one of the only people in my life who had never let me down. You were there for me. In everything I did; in everything I was. I love you & I miss you more than you could imagine. But there’s always that point where I know we’ll be reunited. And everything will make perfect sense again. It always had with you. It always will.
Lyday You’re just amazing. I think I actually like that word because it reminds me of you. Haha =) the girl I can tell anything to. Laugh about everything with. Whose window is basically the coolest toy I’ve ever played with and who’s personality I couldn’t do without. You impacted my life in volumes you can’t begin to fathom, because it happens every day. Probaly every other hour, whether I notice or not; you’re with me in every decision I make. You’re such a strong person and you’ve taught me so much. And everything you’ve ever done for me has never went unaccounted for. I promise, you’ve never been underestimated with me. You are simply the definition of an amazing best friend because you don’t necessarily have to be there with me every moment of my life but, somehow you are. Somehow you’re everywhere I go, and there’s always that little Lyday running around my head telling me everything’s going to be okay. And I believe her. Because I’ve always believed her. She’s never let me down, and cross my fingers- I hope to do the same for her. I love you & missing you is something I’ll always have to deal with, but it’s worth it, knowing that I having someone like you in my life. Everything’s worth it.
Tibi Don’t ever tell me to stop eating chicken. Haha. Tibi, I love you. I don’t know how to explain to you how it felt the second I saw you- actually I do. Normal. Mundane. Because it had felt like I’d always seen you- always had you with me. It’s so hard to realize how much has changed since we graduated from middle school. We all sure as hell grew up a bit, but separately? Hell no. Tibi, when you had to leave basically the morning I got there, I don’t think it’s ever hurt so much to see someone walk away from me. And it wasn’t because you were leaving, and I’d miss you- which I did, and I do. But because I felt so overwhelmed by the idea that I didn’t get to provide you what you gave to me. Love and friendship on a whole new level. Friendship points don’t even qualify in the game you’ve been playing. So keep on making fun of me for tripping because I’ve learned our faults make us who we are- from the strongest girl I know. You take care of yourself for us, okay? You kept on telling us to be good, tibi if anything ever happened to you, I’d never forgive myself, so let’s just be very cautious. Walk around in bubble wrap and helmets okay? X) You’re a crazy girl and I don’t know what I’d do without you and I never plan on finding out.
Charles the guy who made everything easier on me. The one who convinced me love was still alive and that hope and inspiration is far from dead. You were the best of the best charles. I can’t tell you enough that I love you and I can’t tell you thank you enough for everything. You seriously are one of the most special, unique people I’ve ever met and as strange as that sounds; it’s true and actually a compliment. Haha, you make me feel worth something Charles and that’s something not many people are capable of and it’s something you’ve always been good at. Just simple things like seeing karaoke, making remixes of our favorite songs, random phone calls, or packages. Always had the best timing, framed with the best intentions. Any girl would be more than lucky to have you in their life. You are simply one of the greatest guys this world has to offer and I don’t want you to ever doubt that for a second because I never have. Thank you for everything. For things you do without me noticing, for doing things just to put a smile on my face- best friends and confidantes for life okay? I never want to see you, without me. I’m just that selfish I have to always be around. =) I love you, I know you think I’m weird for saying it so often these days but it really does mean so much to be able to *know I have these amazing best friends to go to whenever something goes wrong and I don’t ever want to take advantage of that-- The best thing.
Polo You know that words can’t even begin to describe our funny relationship. =) Polo you started off as this weird kid in middle school to my best friend, to basically everything. You’re nothing like I expected you to be, in the best and most surprising way possible. And it’s something I never want to have to do without because I simply can’t see myself without you. And it’s not just the flowers for Monday, or the chocolate on random occasions, or gifts that’d just make me laugh and wonder- what was he thinking? =) it’s everything. It’s the talks, the deep conversations where I feel like you’re not just my other half, but the better part of me in itself. The nights where I’m convinced- I’ve found what I’ve been looking for.
Spenser you’ve strangely been one of the best friends I’d had in the strangest way possible. I swear, it was like yesterday you were chasing us with grasshoppers and singing the pina colada song in the gym. Or chasing us with blood- yes you were so immature in 8th grade. Haha, now to this guy who I can call on in any time of the night and know that you’re going to be there in any sort of situation and care in a exponential way that reassures me- the guy I met in 8th grade, will and always will go down in my books as one of the most amazing best friends I’ve ever had.
Chelsea You are so different from everyone & everything in my life. You aren’t my best friend- you aren’t my enemy. You’re not circle+you=oot hcum. But you’re not nothing. You’re nowhere close to nothing. Actually if anything- you’re everything. You were there for me when my life basically went crashing after I moved to Jacksonville- you were the person who came out of nowhere and changed my life in a radically different way for the better- for the best. Chelsea, I love you to death. And you know it, everyone knows it- hell, I hate to admit it, because I never thought I could find someone I might possible love as much as those kids in Pensacola, but I had. I had you. You were soooperman. Not just some symbol in the cloud I made a wish on, but my hero. Everything you said to me- I believed. Everything that we did, it’s engraved in me. You’re on my mind basically everytime I look at the sky or run in the rain or dumb things like seeing woven blankets or tootsie rolls and it honestly drives me insane. I can’t stop not wondering where you’re at and if you’re okay and I know it’s basically done with. I mean, we’ve both kissed out friendship goodbye, & that breaks my heart chels. But I’m hoping you’re happy wherever the hell you’re at, whoever’s lucky enough to be with you, and whatever you’re doing. And if you ever read this- doubting you will because we literally erased ourselves out of eachothers’ lives. I will always love you. No matter what the circumstances- I’m always here for you. I’d take bullets for you anyday and you mean everything to me in everyway. So wherever you end up going in your live next- just know- You are never alone… & it’s not that I can’t live without you. It’s just that I don’t even want to try.
Pauline you can’t even begin to guess how much of an impact you forced down my throat. I actually freaking listen to r&b over cut cut slash slash now. X) you are an amazing girl and a wonderful friend. The kinda friend I could always not just count on to be there when I needed them- but the moments I didn’t. The aloe vera’s. The endless laughs. Pauline, I never said it enough but I love you and I’m always here for you. Whatever happens, happened- it’s forgiven and even forgotten. You’re just someone I don’t want to have to feel like I lost because you’re someone I never want to lose. Don’t give up on me, bia. I won’t give up on you.
Gail Thank you. Thank you for the best hugs in the world. The best talks in the world. The random pours of heartbreak. The days where you’d just know something was wrong and never ask me what it was, but just fix it. The jokes you’d laugh at, and half the time- I knew you didn’t even understand, but as far into as I was- you’d just laugh anyways X) You were always important to me in a way I couldn’t even begin to explain; because Gail, I’d been dumb and taken you for advantage for the simple fact that you’d never let me down. It won’t happen again. Because you need to know that- I want you in my life for basically forever, ever, & ever.
TBC [ Alex, Chels, Ed, Eddy, Jeremy ] oh my freaking gosh I love you kids. You’re some of the most amazing people I’ve ever met, and this past summer you’ve changed my life for the best. You popped into my life when I thought everything was just fine and made it exponentially better. The nights where we’d all sneak out and drive for hours just to pick each other up. Northside, orange park, mandarin. The parties we’d go and get drunk and cry together/ on top of each other. Or even the better nights where we’d go sober and watch drunk people and just laugh at them. Transformers, scrambled eggs, oj! Denny’s at four every other morning. ABC- you girls have become like family- in a creepy, amazing way. Like I can just call you up and talk about nothing and everything at the same time. Ed, eddy, & Jeremy- you guys are three of thee best guy friends I have in Jacksonville. You’ve been there for me. Saved me repeatedly and you’re just amazing guys in the first place. All of you though- made this summer something I’ll never forget. I’ll never forget us all risking so much just to see eachother for a couple hours. Screaming down Greenland road or helping crack whores. I’ll never forget sitting in chelsea’s neighborhood for about two hours watching tv with her step dad through the fence or having ed run to my house just to give me my purse back. Hahahaha, I love you guys and I never really said it because I was always scared of losing you after summer was over, but the truth is. I never will. Because even if we all never get the opportunity to spend another night together- this summer will go down as one of the best of my life. & it’s all because of you.
Karen things changed. But the statement remains the same: I love you ten times more than I don’t. Whenever you need me, I’m here- you know that. And as hard and as complicated as things have gotten- I can still honestly say, I can look at you and see my best friend from freshman year. The girl who’d scream Chinese in a crowd of Asians, eggots in a crowd of… well eggots. And brownies in any class we shared. We’ve been through a lot and it’s still kinda fuzzy as to whether we’ve actually gone through it, but you’re still an important aspect of my life regardless of how things are now.
Jasmine You are one of the best people I’ve met. Starting from freshman year till now. I mean, I seriously can talk to you about everything. And I know you’re there on the off chance if something goes wrong and you’re always there reminding me I’m not really ever on my own even when I convince myself I am, and you’re just there through everyday- sometimes never knowing what’s on my mind, but fixing it anyways. You said you don’t really know who your best friends are, but hun, I’m right freaking here. I promise I’ll be here for you, whenever you need me. Whatever the situation. No matter how many times I have to look like an idiot with you- as long as it’s with you- it’s all gooood. I love you.
Sam Samantha freaking Stewart. Damn girl. Who would’ve thunk? X) I swear it’s hilarious to think of us in munoz’s room 2 years ago, asking eachother- 'hey whats your name again?' And even still in junior year- 'Britt, how do you spell your name?' Hahaha, Sam you surprised me in the best way imaginable. Out of everyone in high school- you’ve taught me everything in the most peculiar ways possible. You taught me to just let the things we can’t change- fix itself. You taught me to screw what people thought of you, but most importantly to not worry about change so much because life will always constantly change and the only things we can ever really be sure of are ourselves and the people we love. Which is everybody. =P =)& we've gotten to the point where we're so amazing, we can practically read eachothers' minds. and its safe to say; you know me. Walls down- you know me. & well Samantha stewart, after going to georgia with you, getting a ticket, telling you everything in the library, and crazy, dumb memories from the past two years I’ve known you- you are one of my most favorite people in this world. & I never told you that, because I was always scared of those rumors of being true- but the only thing true- was you. And I freaking love you, and I hope that we do know eachother in a decade down the road—who the hell else would be my kids’ godmother? =)
Kayla The other Y; clinkayyy! I don’t know how it came to be one of the most influential people in my life- like you’ve seriously been there during so many monumental parts of my life, it’s ridiculous. So many memories of you, whether it even include waterfalls, or just stupid things like walking across the street with your OCD self. Running lemon down our hair and walking a mile at the beach because we don’t know what a parking space looks like. Hahahaha, Kayla you’re an amazing person and I trust you. And it’s so weird how fast I did come to trust you; actually in the first night. But given the circumstances, I guess it made perfect sense. I just want you to know that I love your non-pill taking self and that we most definitely are going to have to end up rooming together in California with baking soda in every drawer of our fridge And beer just for decoration. X)
Nikki darbani. Damn I’m good. Hell, we’re good. Twitching still. Ice cubs in our hands. Hahahaha, nikki I underestimated you, for reasons you and I both know. But you’ve strangely wiggled yourself into a place in my life that I don’t really feel like ever having to explain, because that’d just give you too much pleasure. You’ve actually become one of my good friends and I don’t want that to change anytime soon. Ily. Ice baby ice. [Oh by the by, me & you don't have any pictures without that samantha girl in it. We'll have to change that soon =P =)) ]
Kelsey “Babbyy!” Haha that’s the first thing I hear in my head when I thought of you. God, I don’t know where to start because I feel like I have so much thank yous to say to you, but knowing you- you’ll end up printing this and grafitting this across the school to show that I, Brittany Soriano, do love Kelsey Reinch. You are amazing hun. I still can hear you talking behind me in physics, random stuff that’d always make me laugh. Talks during lunch or the hallways that reassured me somebody understood my ramblings. Kelsey you’ll never really know how much you impacted my life and it’s okay because it’s going to be indefinite. I’ll basically be stalking your ass for the rest of your sad life. And I know you’re jumping out of your seat excited =)))
Robby I don’t even know when we started being friends but I’m sure glad we did because I don’t know who’d entertain me in Spanish or basically have a conversation with across the room in TOK. Hahaha, robby you’re a really good friend and even though we haven’t really experienced any bad times, I’ve always felt like everythings okay around you, because you just give off that vibe that everything will be okay. You’re just amazing and you deserve to hear it.
Nathan I hate you for dropping out of IB. I remember in English, you almost getting me in trouble with the peanut butter nail clipping monster when we were sharing the same chair and tickling me to the point where I jumped out of my seat. Nathan, I hate just saying hey to you in the hallways because towards the end of sophomore year- you became one of my best guy friends. Just being there to talk to; just caring about everything that bothered me. I felt like I could always talk to you about anything. I hope that things will change soon, and we’ll end up going on some tardy rampage and just find ways to be late to class so that that one ib girl and honors guy, will start acting like they know each other =P =) I miss you!
I was always told to follow my heart, and as dumb as that souds. It's never let me down. Alot of things have happened this year; nothing I regret though, because even as this year qualified as one of the worst years of my life- it taught me more than I could imagine. & as my summer was coming to an end- there was one thing that kept coming to my mind.
them.
call me crazy, but I know a good thing, even if I don't see it nearly enough. I have eight best friends I don't even get to see on a regular basis; the ones who were there since the beginning. The ones you basically made me who I was today; because
my life began when I met them.
It's like a love I never believed could exist; because it's always a game of give. Never taking. The biggest hearts I've ever had the pleasure and honor of meeting and basically, they mean everything to me.
They are my best friends.
The past, present, & future.
& that's why I ranaway and took a greyhound. Because I forgot that friendship does overcome all obstacles & despite all the circumstances; whether it be death, or merely distance- Love overcomes everything.
The TripHome.
I was terrified first going. The tension was relieved by Ed, though who drove me to the greyhound and basically killed all the nerves I had left. I met a man on the bus who apparently killed another man, had 5 kids, a whole life already played before him. It was endearing what one says when asked what made their life memorable... because as I was listening to him speak; I didn't hear recollections of occasions; only names and people.
I arrived in Pensacola and quickly found myself in love with it all over again. I opened the bus doors, said goodbye to my new friend [haha] and saw Lyday's red convertible. My heart skipped more than a couple of beats. It's a pretty powerful thing when you see your best friends, the people who helped you struggle through every bad time in your life. The people you called at 3 AM in the morning just because you couldn't sleep. And then there Polo was, in the backseat. I knew at that moment, everything would be okay.
They do that to me. They just somehow, without even saying anything- convince me it'll all be okay. because in the years I've known them- they never once settled with me being upset. They never once settled with me not being happy. Spenser pulled in right next to us and I remembered thinking, when the hell were we all old enough to drive? Just a couple of days ago, I could've sworn we were chasing eachother with rubber cement and grasshoppers.
Tibi and Charles called, and that moment, we were all in some big fight, but there was no way it'd last long. I didn't even have to say that, it was all already understood. It'd been two years since I'd last seen Nicolle Tibi and there was no way I would've seen her with a cold heart. There was no way I could ever look at her with a cold heart. I'd arrived in Pensacola a week too late, Tibi was only in town till the next morning. So we all agreed breakfast at the infamous, traditional Waffle house at 7 AM the next morning. So seeing as Spenser had work and curfew, we left the greyhound, Just Lyday, Polo, and I and we made our way to Taco Bell. Headed back to eat and sleep at Lyday's. Her room is seriously a time capsule. That girl doesn't throw anything away. Haha, we spent about three hours then just laughing uncontrollably. Laying on the bed with two of my favorite people in this world, how could I not smile?
When I first woke up.. i knew it was perfect when I thought to myself, reality with them, is better than any dream. Lyday and I were debating on even waking up. hahaha, then we both agreed "tibi." that word was enough to wake our ass up at 6 in the morning after sleeping around 4. We drove and met them up at the same Waffle house we'd been going to since I moved two years ago and sure enough, the gang was back together.
Mcquiggs joined momentarily; they exited to go to Band Camp; which was perfect for their case. Spenser arrived late, but didn't miss out on the morning shower of the traditional spilled cup over his lap. HI FIVE TIBIII! haha- then Lyday and Spenser split off, present duties called for their attention. So Tibi, Polo, Charles, and I found ourselves on the way to Charles' home then over to Tibi's. Nicolle Tibi was leaving us that morning.
And the thought didn't hit any of us until we got to her parents' house. And that's when the tears basically flowed.
I don't think it's ever hurt that much to say goodbye to anybody, because I knew that even though only temporarily; it'd cause another long period of time of a missing piece of my life and heart, and basically she'd be taking it with her. Everywhere she goes, I go.
We all agreed, best friends have nothing on us and that for as long as we lived; we'd get that lucky feeling of knowing; somewhere, always. Someone would care... We sat and cried in Charles' car for an hour or so, but it didn't feel that long at all. I wanted it to last forever, and there was no way in hell I wanted her to leave. Even in 100 degree weather, I couldn't be happier.
I hadn't seen Tibi in two years and I just got reminded of how much I loved her, only to have to let her go again.... I counted 5 steps when she walked away.
And once again, Polo, Charles, and I found ourselves driving away, a little less and more empty than before.
We drove to the beach and got ready to skim over at Polo's condo. The skim sucked, so we headed up and ate over at Sidelines [[how i miss that, so.]] Charles and I then went to the pool and beach to look for his lost watch, but ended up finding nothing but an hour long of good conversation. I could always telll him everything; my confidante for years now.
The beach was kind of disappointing- the waves anyhow, so we found ourselves on the way back to Pensacola, where I got to finally meet the new addition to the Agabin family. She was simply perfect. So small, her body barely my hand, haha. Yes I'm a giant.
Then Charles gave me his gifts from the Philippines; the one I love the most? The movie making book. Even though that dream's been long dead- it was nice to know someone had always believed in me; no matter what I believed in. Then we took a couple of fieldtrips. Reminiscing the past of Steven T. Brune. First to Polo's old house. Then to his two old best friends houses... then somewhere none of us had been. It was nice knowing he trusted us to be with him, in a moment where even I'll had to admit; I don't think I'd be able to do. I drove the boys over, because Charles is shakey, and it was understandable why. We stood there, remembering someone great, and learning that sometimes, something's are out of our controls. That life is more than fleeting, but love. It's transendent.
Charles then let me drive over to Cuong's house, where we picked him up and screamed every song we basically knew. Hahaha, Charles- god, I love you. We remixed the song Perfect by simple plan, playing the words around my runaway. Then the song I'm a bitch. haha. broke out into a perfume fight. Burberrys better than axe charles. hahaha.
we then met up with Lyday and got ready for dinner over at Cordovas. Met up with the Mcquiggs- damn they grew up. So fast. It's sad and depressing. Those were the girls I'd known seriously since my life began. Five years ago, best friends since. And here they were, driving? It killed me. I missed out on so much.
It took us a good hour to decide where to eat, which ended up being across the street- Olive Garden. Then we waited another hour for seats, and took a trip down memory lane.
We finally got our table, and started the game Never Ever. I lost, or won, or however you want to say it. I didn't want to talk that night though. I was stuck in that denial phase. I looked around and saw these people I knew i absolutely loved and couldn't see myself without- but it hit me so hard, that I spent more of the 365 days without. The best.
We left and went to Target, when the Mcquiggs had to leave; curfew. I didn't know it then, but that'd be the last time I'd see them for my runaway trip there. They drove away and only 5 minutes later, Jessica called, telling me to turn on the radio, so while everyone else was busy racing around the parking lot with their convertibles, I went to Lyday's car, and found myself listening to Every Breath You Take. Jessica Lea Mcquigg never failed in knowing me better than anyone else.
We drove to the beach, then after Charles and I dropped off Jesse and sang our way back to Polo's. When we got there, we listened to some soon to be accoustic, local phenomenon. He was amazing, then we went back to the pool and swam for hours and hours, until it was at least 2 AM in the morning. I was hyper as anything. I felt more alive than i had in the entire year I'd been alive. Then we realizied we could walk to the beach; so we did, just because we could. hahaha. and did cart wheels and just talked. It was perfect. Probaly one of the brightest high lights of my trip.
We were all tired as hell by the time it was 4, but starving, so Charles did his online tests, while Lyday, Cuong, Polo, and I walked to Circle K and got some food. Never has frozen lasagna tasted so good. I fell asleep then, right in between Polo and Lyday, and in a room with four of my best friends. Still feeling safer than anything.
The next day, I woke up last. I was happier than anything at that too. hahah, the boys were being boys and played poker. So Lyday and me stole a skim board and went out to the beach. They stalked us though, which was okay, cause it was time to leave anyways. So we found ourselvse on the way back inland, and went to go visit Charles' at work. He wasn't there, so we ended up going to Lyday's and debating what to do. We ended up driving to Blockbusters to rent a couple movies and drove over to my old neighboorhood. That was just wierd. It was nice though, we ran into Rachel Jones and Mrs. Fussel- yes, our middle school nightmare of a teacher. Both of whom were more than friendly at our drop in visit. We talked for a good twenty minutes, when I realized it didn't matter about my old house- because it wasn't the house that acutally made it anything; it was the people. The people in my life put life into everything else.
We ate dinner in Steak and shake and for that good hour, I swear, I felt like I'd never leave. I wish that had been the case.
We slept at Lyday's again, but this time a little earlier. i think we were all still a little more than exhausted from everything that'd been going on. Next thing I know, I wake up at 6 AM, knowing it was time for me to leave Pensacola.
My bus left at 8. We sat there in silence for about an hour and a half, when we decided breakfast was overrated and just headed towards the bus station. Charles met us there, and Spenser was sleeping ;) and I was a mess. No one seemed to want to look me in the eye that morning, which was understandable. But it just hurt. It hurt in undescribable terms.
But i smiled nonetheless, smiled and smiled till it killed me. Hugged the best friends I've ever had. And walked away in defeat. Of course, I had to go back, because Charles over here, stole one of my bags. Haha..
saying goodbye to you was never easy.
i cried for about three days after that, straight. Until I realized I'd been doing exactly what they wouldn't want me to do. Because I know, hearing they all cried when I left broke me apart... the tears won't heal anything. They don't solve. And I was lucky enough to even have people like that to make me cry, when I said goodbye to them wasn't something to shed tears over.
Minded, through all of this, my parents were going insane, my life in jacksonvile was seemingly falling apart; but i never once found it appropriate to cry. How could I cry with everything I ever wanted in my view?
now don't misunderstand me. I don't regret moving to Jacksonville, and I sure as hell have people here who keep me breathing. Chelsea, Karen. You two are the main reasons I came back. Because in a time where I thought the best was behind me, I met these two stubborn, strong headed girls who opened up more doors I didn't think existed, a whole new world that just became obvious when I met the two of you,
but I can't help it.
They were my first loves.
It still & always will hurt, because I still & always will miss you.
Assica Lyday Tibi Crystal Charles Polo Spenser Cuong
Thank you for opening my heart up again. =)
I'm flying through this
"Carpe diem, rendezvous, screw
the stars; go for the galaxies"
kinda phase.
We got everything we need right here
& everything we need is enough.
brittany freakin' soriano. bittersweet 16. sometimes i do things that i know are stupid, but i learn from everything i do. & i regret nothing. There are only 8 people in my life that make me/ take me/ and break me. aka my best friends. i overanalyze everything; drama haterrr. being scared, scares me. i enjoy handstands on the beach at 3 AM, chasing after bouncy balls on busy streets, running away on greyhound to visit the most amazing people in this world, sharing one pillow with my worst enemy, and listening to my best friend complain about some of her mexican drama. rocket summer rocks my world- i love my life. it's more than amazing and im obsessed with the word amazing.
Assica Lyday Tibi Crystal Charles Polo Spenser Cuong
Thank you for opening my heart up again. =)
I'm flying through this
"Carpe diem, rendezvous, screw
the stars; go for the galaxies"
kinda phase.
We got everything we need right here
& everything we need is enough.
brittany freakin' soriano. bittersweet 16. sometimes i do things that i know are stupid, but i learn from everything i do. & i regret nothing. There are only 8 people in my life that make me/ take me/ and break me. aka my best friends. i overanalyze everything; drama haterrr. being scared, scares me. i enjoy handstands on the beach at 3 AM, chasing after bouncy balls on busy streets, running away on greyhound to visit the most amazing people in this world, sharing one pillow with my worst enemy, and listening to my best friend complain about some of her mexican drama. rocket summer rocks my world- i love my life. it's more than amazing and im obsessed with the word amazing.
the reason why family still hasnt lost its place in my life. you two are undoubedly the main reason why i am the way i am. you were there since the literal day one of birth and through it all, you've been there. Granted, like anybody, we get sick of eachother from time to time & the jokes seem to have lost some of its mild humor, but its senseless how much i really love you two. i love you to the point that it doesnt even occur to me anymore. & i look up to you two more than anyone in my life, and when people are always pitying me for being the only girl between two obese brothers ;] i have to say, i was never alone. I had something better than most sisters have, and thats two cousins who really gave a damn. & its impossible to write all our memories, or jokes, or just times in which, i knew i was absolutely in love with the idea of you two being in my life. & to this day, i am reminded that family, isn't just about parents, or syblings, its the oustretch of the poeple who are lucky enough to have our blood & stand by the idea of family. family first.
jessica.lyday.tibi.charles.polo.spenser.cuong
08/03/07. no one understands what we've been through and i dont blame them. its insane how much we've all been through. its insane how there's six different high schools between us and four different cities and our bonds have yet to break. you guys, you taught me how to grow up. how to live life.. but most importantly- how to love. You taught me that sometimes, its okay to breakdown and that its safe to let you into my high, tall walls because constantly, when the world had gotten to me, you were there rebuilding me. You were always, always there. & when others say, my best friends.. i know that what we have is something beyond their understanding. & sometimes, i question whether or not i even deserve people like you in my life. The type of people who love you more than you can even put into words, and its ironic how even though youre the people i see less in my life- youre always constantly playing a role. & thats what you do. you offer this place, where i can go to just to be myself. You offer a home, where i dont feel so alone, and all of you. every single one of you, have some of thee biggest hearts ive yet to know & im so proud of where ya'll have come up to at this point in your lives, and basically, this is just another reminder that you'll have a brittany soriano stalking you in all your daily pleasures because i love you all too much to ever want out of your life. & i dont ever want you to think you were never enough to stay in Pensacola; you were more than enough. You inspired me to be, inspiring. & i knew i couldve been more than happy with all of you- but just knowing that all of us could outstretch ourselves & change the world? Thats something else. & that something else couldnt have happened without you. & i just, you guys dont get it. i really do miss you, more than anything, but its the thought of ya'll in my life that causes me to not be scared anymore, and i want to live this life, and know that youll be there for me thru everything. I love you. & i cant wait to see all of you in august
karen.
just when i thought all the best friends in my life were in my past, you showed up in my english class. karen, you have this funny way of making me feel a little less alone in this world without even attempting to and im so proud to know you. i completely trust you with judgment and youre just one of those people i hate to compliment because itd just add to your facade of an immense ego. i love you karen fakhar. i love how i know stupid things about you, i love how we laugh about even dumber things, and i love how we just know things sometimes without saying a word. and i love how no matter what happens, i cant seem to not have you in my life, because you're everywhere. You make all the lyrics make sense, and all i want to do when im upset at any given day is just to sit in the car and listen to music with you, because it reminds me that people never stop caring. I never stopped caring. & granted, right now, we arent at our peak in our friendship, but that's okay, because i'm going to let you have all the time you need to grow up, but karen, neglecting all the choices i make, anything that happens. i'm still here, and im always going to come back. I'm always going to be your best friend and i'm always going to think about you when i see a rocket, or starbursts, or dust haha. and even if you dont believe me or dont want to believe me at this point- the endings going to always be the same. im always going to care, and im always going to love you regardless of whats going on in either of our lives which, in your case is a pretty damn good bargain, because it guarentees you my will to do anything on the off chance of making you happy. That's all i ever wanted anyway. You happy.
gail.abby.chelsea.kaydee.pauline.reathany.
bitchhhes. my whores. the girls i'd ride & die for. haha i love you all, and even though our little crew fell apart in recent times, you are still all a part of my life and a big chunk of my heart. & there are times with all of you i will never forget and there are moments to this day, where i'm reminded why we're all still friends. You guys make sense to me. You have this unawaring gift of fixing things without trying to fix things for me, and you gave me a family to go to when i thought i had no where else to run. & you all instilled in me a sense of love that i'll never be able to replace or dream of forgetting. & even though there are times where i chase you out of your house with a shoe, or push you up against a wall when you're drunk off your ass, or moments where i slap you for failing- its just because i care. and all of you have this unlimited potentials that you are oblivious to notice & i dont want you to not know how important, and special you are to me, and how big of an impact you put on this world. On my world, and i love you girls for reasons, i cant even explain and when i had promised you id be here through everything- i meant it. you girls know me better than i know myself, and thats something i know we all take for granted sometimes. and i dont ever want to forget what you did for me in my life because its something that's going to stalk me in my shadows for the rest of my GAY life. =) i love all of you and our family, its still a family. No one gets left behind and the issues we have right now, hopefully theyre just temporary. Love; its the only thing that matters. Dont forget about that, and dont even attempt to forget about us.
jasmine.nikki.sam.kelsey.pyatte.alexx.howard.
my white girls. haha betchh. halfway through sophomore year, i experienced a taste of hell. im not kidding, it was so hard even wanting to wake up and go to school, but constantly the reasons why i went was because of you. i never even had to tell you what was going wrong and you'd somehow just make things so much easier. youd make laughing and being narotic seem helpful and even healthy. haha, and when things did go horribly wrong and i broke down on certain occasions, i could always count on your corny jokes and fatal hugs to cheer me up. & last year knowing three of you was enough, but this year, all of you went above and beyond what i expected and offered me the biggest reason of wanting to stay in paxon. i didnt tell any of you this, but ib didnt seem worth it and i was counting on that ib party to tell you all that i wasnt going to be coming back, but something happened, and suddenly i found myself calling you friends?? & that INSANE notion forced me to believe, that perhaps i need you in my life. and for anyone to even think about giving something up as good as friends are obviously those dumb honor kids ;] haha i love youuuu. & next year will be a full cup of hell, but we'll get thru it together as long as we have an endless supply of ice, celion dion, and brownies.
kayla.
ive never been able to trust anyone as fast as ive come to trusting you. with my life, my secrets. hah. & i love it. i really do, because you came just in time to save me from myself and i dont think thats something youll ever be able to understand. That night at walmart, i was convinced that my pensacola friends didnt need someone to bring them down, my gayceker girls didnt need me period, and my ib kids could care less, and you were just there out of nowhere to show me that sometimes, the easiest way out- wasnt always so easy. and that first night, hahaha. just echos of laughs, from getting napkins from your car, to going to paul walls, to having to PISS every five minutes, watching the sunrise on the beach, car washes, having a mcdonalds employee telling us we were fat asses, to having to make you scraped mayo bread, crashing on some random couch with one blanket you hogged, and getting those doughnuts you wouldnt shutup about. then your ocd, "i cant swallow pills" moments..its just... everyone has that person in high school where it doesnt make sense how they met, or why they get along but they do. & youre that one in my life. You didnt even realized how many problems you fixed for me and its things like that, its people like you that give me the energy and hope to even face the world anymore. & i hope you realize that now, that youve basically found yourself a good seat in my life and that i consider you a really good friend, so thats basically a ticket to annoy me when youre upset, angry, or any emotion youre just teeming up with- figured id start repaying you on the whole 'you changed my life' business haha ilyy
ALL OF YOU.
are the reasons i stumble upon when life doesnt seem to agree with me. youre the reasons i find it easy to laugh. youre the reasons for me, to change who i used to be. & youre the reasons why, at this point in my life. I am happy with who i am, and what ive become, because with people like you in my life- who in their insane mind, could complain? =) i love youuuu.
"If not, I'll see you when I get home... 'cause I will come home. And I'm gonna keep coming home no matter how hard you try and push me away. Now, you can either take my word for it or you can keep on testing me, but either way,
"no one understands what we've been through and i dont blame them"
-couldnt agree with that more. Look at how far we've come; i mean, who else could hold on to something for so long? You guys are the only ones i can actually see still being in my life years down the road from high school. & i love it :] cause it doesnt get any better than you and the rest of em.
God i love you brittany.
as much as you think we've taught you, ive learned just as much just by being friends with you. YOU ARE AMAZING. and dont ever think you dont deserve us. cause the only reason we are so good is because youve helped keep us all together.
You know we are always, always always here for you. You mean just as much to us as we do to you.
I miss you!! like crazy, i hate it. But it makes the reunion that much better. Cant wait to see you either!
GOSHH BRITTANY!!! GOOOD Looking outt for u.. LOl you been so optimistically happie lately.. GOSH after all da drama fights drama and drama and DRAMA and DrAmA LoL.. ur finally not ur pessimistic side and lo0kin at da optimistic side
u kno dey say you'll live longer if u optimiustic. thats why u needa smile.. and open ur ugly teeth up .. Hehe here's a tic tac ((TIC TAC)) ^_^
You’re just the person I know who’ll understand me, in any given circumstance because you knew Brittany Soriano before there was a Brittany Soriano, and you knew me before I even knew myself. We’ve been through everything, and there’s no doubt in my mind there’s nothing that life can throw at us or between us that will change that. It was so hard having to leave Pensacola in the first place, but having to leave a best friend behind may have been one of the single hardest things in my life. The letters you sent. I cried over every single one of them knowing I had let down one of the only people in my life who had never let me down. You were there for me. In everything I did; in everything I was. I love you & I miss you more than you could imagine. But there’s always that point where I know we’ll be reunited. And everything will make perfect sense again. It always had with you. It always will. 
You’re such a strong person and you’ve taught me so much. And everything you’ve ever done for me has never went unaccounted for. I promise, you’ve never been underestimated with me. You are simply the definition of an amazing best friend because you don’t necessarily have to be there with me every moment of my life but, somehow you are. Somehow you’re everywhere I go, and there’s always that little Lyday running around my head telling me everything’s going to be okay. And I believe her. Because I’ve always believed her. She’s never let me down, and cross my fingers- I hope to do the same for her. I love you & missing you is something I’ll always have to deal with, but it’s worth it, knowing that I having someone like you in my life. Everything’s worth it. 
which I did, and I do. But because I felt so overwhelmed by the idea that I didn’t get to provide you what you gave to me. Love and friendship on a whole new level. Friendship points don’t even qualify in the game you’ve been playing. So keep on making fun of me for tripping because I’ve learned our faults make us who we are- from the strongest girl I know. You take care of yourself for us, okay? You kept on telling us to be good, tibi if anything ever happened to you, I’d never forgive myself, so let’s just be very cautious. Walk around in bubble wrap and helmets okay? X) You’re a crazy girl and I don’t know what I’d do without you and I never plan on finding out.
Just simple things like seeing karaoke, making remixes of our favorite songs, random phone calls, or packages. Always had the best timing, framed with the best intentions. Any girl would be more than lucky to have you in their life. You are simply one of the greatest guys this world has to offer and I don’t want you to ever doubt that for a second because I never have. Thank you for everything. For things you do without me noticing, for doing things just to put a smile on my face- best friends and confidantes for life okay? I never want to see you, without me. I’m just that selfish I have to always be around. =) I love you, I know you think I’m weird for saying it so often these days but it really does mean so much to be able to *know I have these amazing best friends to go to whenever something goes wrong and I don’t ever want to take advantage of that-- The best thing. 
And it’s not just the flowers for Monday, or the chocolate on random occasions, or gifts that’d just make me laugh and wonder- what was he thinking? =) it’s everything. It’s the talks, the deep conversations where I feel like you’re not just my other half, but the better part of me in itself. The nights where I’m convinced- I’ve found what I’ve been looking for.
Or chasing us with blood- yes you were so immature in 8th grade. Haha, now to this guy who I can call on in any time of the night and know that you’re going to be there in any sort of situation and care in a exponential way that reassures me- the guy I met in 8th grade, will and always will go down in my books as one of the most amazing best friends I’ve ever had. 
And you know it, everyone knows it- hell, I hate to admit it, because I never thought I could find someone I might possible love as much as those kids in Pensacola, but I had. I had you. You were soooperman. Not just some symbol in the cloud I made a wish on, but my hero. Everything you said to me- I believed. Everything that we did, it’s engraved in me. You’re on my mind basically everytime I look at the sky or run in the rain or dumb things like seeing woven blankets or tootsie rolls and it honestly drives me insane. I can’t stop not wondering where you’re at and if you’re okay and I know it’s basically done with. I mean, we’ve both kissed out friendship goodbye, & that breaks my heart chels. But I’m hoping you’re happy wherever the hell you’re at, whoever’s lucky enough to be with you, and whatever you’re doing. And if you ever read this- doubting you will because we literally erased ourselves out of eachothers’ lives. I will always love you. No matter what the circumstances- I’m always here for you. I’d take bullets for you anyday and you mean everything to me in everyway. So wherever you end up going in your live next- just know- You are never alone… & it’s not that I can’t live without you. It’s just that I don’t even want to try. 
The aloe vera’s. The endless laughs. Pauline, I never said it enough but I love you and I’m always here for you. Whatever happens, happened- it’s forgiven and even forgotten. You’re just someone I don’t want to have to feel like I lost because you’re someone I never want to lose. Don’t give up on me, bia. I won’t give up on you. 
I knew you didn’t even understand, but as far into as I was- you’d just laugh anyways X) You were always important to me in a way I couldn’t even begin to explain; because Gail, I’d been dumb and taken you for advantage for the simple fact that you’d never let me down. It won’t happen again. Because you need to know that- I want you in my life for basically forever, ever, & ever.
You’ve been there for me. Saved me repeatedly and you’re just amazing guys in the first place. All of you though- made this summer something I’ll never forget. I’ll never forget us all risking so much just to see eachother for a couple hours. Screaming down Greenland road or helping crack whores. I’ll never forget sitting in chelsea’s neighborhood for about two hours watching tv with her step dad through the fence or having ed run to my house just to give me my purse back. Hahahaha, I love you guys and I never really said it because I was always scared of losing you after summer was over, but the truth is. I never will. Because even if we all never get the opportunity to spend another night together- this summer will go down as one of the best of my life. & it’s all because of you. 
The girl who’d scream Chinese in a crowd of Asians, eggots in a crowd of… well eggots. And brownies in any class we shared. We’ve been through a lot and it’s still kinda fuzzy as to whether we’ve actually gone through it, but you’re still an important aspect of my life regardless of how things are now. 
sometimes never knowing what’s on my mind, but fixing it anyways. You said you don’t really know who your best friends are, but hun, I’m right freaking here. I promise I’ll be here for you, whenever you need me. Whatever the situation. No matter how many times I have to look like an idiot with you- as long as it’s with you- it’s all gooood. I love you. 
& we've gotten to the point where we're so amazing, we can practically read eachothers' minds. and its safe to say; you know me. Walls down- you know me. & well Samantha stewart, after going to georgia with you, getting a ticket, telling you everything in the library, and crazy, dumb memories from the past two years I’ve known you- you are one of my most favorite people in this world. & I never told you that, because I was always scared of those rumors of being true- but the only thing true- was you. And I freaking love you, and I hope that we do know eachother in a decade down the road—who the hell else would be my kids’ godmother? =) 
Running lemon down our hair and walking a mile at the beach because we don’t know what a parking space looks like. Hahahaha, Kayla you’re an amazing person and I trust you. And it’s so weird how fast I did come to trust you; actually in the first night. But given the circumstances, I guess it made perfect sense. I just want you to know that I love your non-pill taking self and that we most definitely are going to have to end up rooming together in California with baking soda in every drawer of our fridge And beer just for decoration. X)
But you’ve strangely wiggled yourself into a place in my life that I don’t really feel like ever having to explain, because that’d just give you too much pleasure. You’ve actually become one of my good friends and I don’t want that to change anytime soon. Ily. Ice baby ice. [Oh by the by, me & you don't have any pictures without that samantha girl in it. We'll have to change that soon =P =)) ] 
You are amazing hun. I still can hear you talking behind me in physics, random stuff that’d always make me laugh. Talks during lunch or the hallways that reassured me somebody understood my ramblings. Kelsey you’ll never really know how much you impacted my life and it’s okay because it’s going to be indefinite. I’ll basically be stalking your ass for the rest of your sad life. And I know you’re jumping out of your seat excited =))) 
Hahaha, robby you’re a really good friend and even though we haven’t really experienced any bad times, I’ve always felt like everythings okay around you, because you just give off that vibe that everything will be okay. You’re just amazing and you deserve to hear it.
Nathan, I hate just saying hey to you in the hallways because towards the end of sophomore year- you became one of my best guy friends. Just being there to talk to; just caring about everything that bothered me. I felt like I could always talk to you about anything. I hope that things will change soon, and we’ll end up going on some tardy rampage and just find ways to be late to class so that that one ib girl and honors guy, will start acting like they know each other =P =) I miss you!
